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Ultimate Gift Wish List
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what a chav would nick if only they spare time in their busy schedules


1. Vauxhall Nova

The ultimate present, no longer drive your mothers fiesta to McDonalds, everyones dream car to be modified to your own specification.

2. Mamas & Papas Pramette

Getting the right fabric is key, this beauty is great for carrying cider and the rest of your shopping home.

3. Designer Tracksuit

Forget your Primark trackie, it's all about the name Adidas, Kappa, Fila...

4. Tramlink Travelcard

Getting around is so much easier with a travelcard, especially with a pushchair. No more jumping the barriers and doing a runner.

5. 200 Mayfair Cigarette Carton

No more having to ponce a fag from strangers or standing outside the newsagent trying to get an over 16 year old to buy them for you.

6. VHF Vodka Alchopops

Fruity flavours ideal to be used like a mouthwash if you've thrown up after drinking vodka straight.

7. George Thongs 5 Pack

Getting the right size is important, they need to be big enough to show two inches higher than the top of your tracksuit bottoms.

8. Elizabeth Duke Hoop Earings

The larger the hoop size the better, millimeters above your shoulder.

9. Black Hoodie

Black is last years Grey, the old grey always started to look grubby after a couple of months, black will allow a lot longer time between washes.

Got any other ideas for dream chav presents? Email us at

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